Yesterday was my first day on this site. I planned my food for the day ahead of time, and since I had no groceries in the house, it did involve some fast food choices. I knew things had been stressful at work for the past two weeks, but I didn’t realize how it was triggering my bad eating until I was forced to keep track of what I was eating on this web site. My eyes have been opened, and now I realize that it’s more important than ever to handle the stress at work better before it kills me through the food it leads me to eat.
The reason I haven’t been grocery shopping is because I’ve been on call for a week. When that on call phone rings, even if it’s in the middle of the night, I have to be ready to get to my computer to assist the customer. So all last weekend, I had to stay home, and every day this week, I’ve been heading straight home after work, hoping to make it before the on-call phone rings. Grocery shopping is out of the question. Not to mention working out. I like jogging, but I don’t want to be two miles from home when that phone rings.
Work has been insane for two weeks for a couple of reasons. One of our team members is on maternity leave. Another is out for the second week in a row because of the flu. Another is only working a few hours a day because she’s tending her to husband, who recently got out of the hospital. And to top it off – snowstorms. My company schedules certification exams for candidates all over the country, and for the past two weeks, our testing sites have been hit by snowstorm after snowstorm. Which means we have to contact all the candidates and reschedule them – only to have another storm hit on the reschedule date. When you’re down three people, and every single candidate in the Midwest has to reschedule yet again, there are no lunch breaks to sit and breathe and eat healthy food.
I knew the stress was getting to me and leading me to make bad food choices, but it wasn’t until today when I could see specifically why.
I had planned to run out to Wendy’s at lunch and get a salad with low fat dressing. By lunchtime, we were slammed with phone calls and rescheduling requests and tons of other issues. My desk was covered with paper. There was no room at my desk for food involving utensils. And to make matters worse, I was ravenously hungry. There was no way a salad was going to keep my hunger at bay for the rest of the workday, even if it did have chicken in it. I didn’t have time to eat a healthy morning snack, so I knew I might not have time for an afternoon snack. I ran to Wendy’s and got a homestyle chicken sandwich and a large order of fries. I ate with the bag in my lap at my desk, just pulling food up and scarfing it down while I worked on the computer and talked on the phone. I didn’t taste any of it, but I felt a little sick when I was finished.
Then, of course, after eating such high-sodium foods, I wanted sweets. So over the course of the afternoon, I ate three packets of Strawberry Twizzlers from the vending machine.
I made myself log into this web site and change what I had planned to eat to what I was actually eating. And now I can see the patterns and why I eat like I do. When I started this job five years ago, I was a size 12. Today, I’m a size 20. I’ve gained 80 pounds at this job, and one day on this web site has shown me exactly how I’ve done it.
I will change. Grocery shopping and having healthy food at my desk is crucial. Unfortunately, I’m on call one more evening (tonight), so I can’t grocery shop tonight.
So I’m giving myself a break. I will do the best I can for the next 24 hours until I can finally hand over the on-call phone and go to Harris Teeter. This day, for all the bad eating, has been a very positive learning experience. Now that I know exactly what I’m letting this job do to me, I can figure out exactly how to fight back.
